Navigating the world of  unsolicited advice.

 

Do you think it’s human nature to be right?? That every war ever fought and every anonymous internet argument comes down to the same basic instinct, that my opinion is right and yours is wrong. It’s an instinct. An urge that must come from some old caveman behavior that was used for survival. Though, that doesn’t make it any less annoying. 

I deal with a stream of constant unsolicited advice. People mean well, I think. They are just trying to help. The things is though, they don’t know anything about me. They don’t know my pain. They don’t understand the intricacies of my disability.

I look fine to them, I mean I am super cute and young. I don’t look like their idea of what disabled is. They think of Drake from Degrassi or that one kid from glee. It’s a weird cookie cutter idea of disability. I am not wheel chair bound so what’s stopping me from singing and dancing?

Well it’s a lot of things. Like a lot of people dealing with physical impairments it often affects my mental health. I struggle with anxiety and it stems a lot from my disability. I have to constantly be aware of myself. Can I sit through a three hour movie today? Can I even drive today? Is there going to be a lot of walking involved? Can I do it? Can I go to this concert? Is it standing room only? Is there a good place to keep my cane? Anytime I make plans to go somewhere there are only a portion of the questions I have to ask myself and all these questions just feed into my anxiety, because I don’t know. I like most human beings don’t know all the answers and sometimes I can’t find them. My mind is just constantly filled with questions. The unknown is scary and so is the future.

I also don’t dance because it fucking hurts. It hurts and I can’t afford a hip replacement.

This is turning more into a rant then I expected.

I always try to just nod and smile when talking to people. When they tell me something I politely, but firmly try to explain my side of things. I guess my number one tip to avoiding unsolicited advice. Is to just avoid people in general…I am kidding. Just tell them to fuck off…also kidding. Just nod and smile then scream into a pillow and then talk to someone who actually understands you. Just know, I’m here for you.

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